Dialogue

Mail, rants, theories etc.

totalfilm.com twitter.com/totalfilm facebook.com/totalfilm [email protected]

★ STAR LETTER

While I loved Dune: Part Two, I’ve got to admit I was a little disappointed there were no songs. I thought that, as with Wonka, although the trailer didn’t feature any songs, the film would be a musical. Surely we could have had Paul Atreides singing a few verses? ‘Come with me and you’ll be/In a world of pure Fremen liberation/ Take a look and you’ll see/I’m your messianic salvation’. Is that too much to ask?

The only issue with your suggestion, Wavey, is that had there been such a tuneful, magical moment in Denis Villeneuve’s film, there would have been no option but to add a sixth star to our rating system. Perhaps you could conceive a full Dun-ka musical? On form like that it would make any recent blockbuster look like Willy’s Chocolate Experience. Wavey and everyone with a letter printed here will receive a copy of The Holdovers, on 4K UHD, BD and DVD from 22 April via Dazzler Media. Didn’t send an address? Email it! What are you waiting for, Christmas?

GO BIG, NOT HOME

I have to disagree with the letter concerning cinemagoing [issue 348]. For me, the cinema is still the best place to experience film. The current output may not be that great (with a few exceptions), but the big screen, the incredible sound and the smaller number of distractions make it worth attending. I enjoy watching classics at the cinema as much as new releases; my local will be showing all five Indiana Jones movies over March, which I’ll be attending. I’ve also taken my eldest, who’s 19, to see Ghostbusters, GoldenEye and Die Hard. Sure, most films are available on digital two short months after their cinema release, but nothing compares to the experience.

Indeed. And it’s good to remember that there is actually more to see at the cinema than just the latest US tentpoles. And yes, we are referring to the latest Hey Duggee compilation. Don’t knock until you’ve tried.

DREAM SCENARIOS

As a kid I always loved videotapes. And recently I’ve been having dreams where I’ve been watching films like The Dark Knight, Avatar, The Hunger Games, Avengers: Infinity War and even Migration on VHS, a format I miss so much. The tapes even have the Coming Attractions, the F.A.C.T. anti-piracy warnings, the BBFC/VSC (Video Standards Council) advice and the occasional cartoon, just as I remember watching before the Feature Presentation all those years ago. Has anyone else wished for those post-2006 films to be released on VHS? Or dreamed about them?

We’re envious that your dreams are so well-structured and entertaining. Whenever Dialogue dreams about movies, we don’t even get to the first mobile-phone ad before the auditorium warps into Westfield on acid, staffed by our former secondary school teachers. Also, someone’s nicked our socks.

SORCERER SUPREME

I always enjoy reading your 10 of the Best page and nodding in sage agreement at your choices. But the one devoted to bridges in issue 348 had a glaring omission. I know there are a lot of bridges in a lot of movies, but how can anyone take such a list seriously that neglects to include the nail-biting highlight of William Friedkin’s Sorcerer? No popcorn for your compiler tonight! Mind you, to be fair, I’m not sure which of the 10 films that were represented I would have removed to make way for it.

Well, quite. And if we’d included Sorcerer, how could we leave out the other film based on the same source material, The Wages of Fear? We couldn’t turn 10 of the Best up to 11; that would be a bridge too far. Has that pun earned us our popcorn back? You’re taking away our triple-dip nachos too? And the Smarties we snuck in that we thought you didn’t know about? That’s just cruel.

WEB OF INTRIGUE

Playing some tunes/In a maroon/ Vintage pontoon/I took my friend June/Down the toon/To my local Ode-oon… Can you guess what we went to see? That’s right. Madame Web. Should have gone to see Dune: Part Two instead.

Loved unknown-superhero film Madame Web. Marvel, make more films of that ilk, pretty please! Like Sentry, Frog-Man, Invaders…

Ah, Adrian, if only Tom and - let’s be honest - the cinemagoing public could’ve seen the movie through your eyes. Hard to imagine we’ll see anything like its ilk any time soon, but we’re all for Hollywood pursuing left-field choices. (Though might be as well to lose the ‘Man’ from ‘Frog-Man’ in order to keep the budget down.)

CATHERINE THE GREAT?

I’d love to suggest an article on the best film characters. Yes, I know that this has been done before, but what I mean is, the most UNDERRATED film characters. I’ll go first: Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct.

Let’s get the party started right here: readers, which characters deserve more love, more recognition, more sequels? As for Catherine, us hacks at TF Towers have always been oddly fond of seeing a writer portrayed as successful, super-smart and sexy (and who gets away with it in the end).