60 SECOND SCREENPLAY

TF SAVES YOU THE COST OF A MOVIE EVERY MONTH. THIS ISSUE: AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

FADE IN:

EXT: ATLANTIS JASON AQUAMOMOA and AMBER HEARD are now married and have a newborn son who can already talk to fish. Meanwhile, baddie YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II finds a broken trident.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II It’ll probably be fine if I just put these pieces togeth-aaarrgh!!

PILOU ASBÆK Here, have some flashbacks to the last film. Yes, it’s painful, but I can help you get revenge.

EXT: ATLANTIS – FIVE MONTHS LATER AQUAMOMOA learns that his new role as king of Atlantis involves actually ruling Atlantis.

AQUAMOMOA Global warming is destroying the oceans! We should let the people on land know that we exist so that they recycle!

ATLANTIS COUNCIL MEMBER No! Even though they know about Krypton and Metahumans and Black Adam probably, we have to stay hidden. No one can know we’re here.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II ram-raids Atlantis with a giant submarine. AMBER HEARD defends on a robot shark rather than a real one, for some reason. YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II escapes.

NICOLE KIDMAN He was trying to steal our secret MacGuffin Juice, which our ancestors used before they discovered that it’s bad for the environment.

AQUAMOMOA So he’s trying to kill us AND he’s releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere? We’re gonna need help from someone unlikely…

INT: PRISON AQUAMOMOA frees his skinny brother PATRICK WILSON using an octopus spy suit and an actual octopus spy. PATRICK WILSON touches water and becomes hench.

PATRICK WILSON I was the villain in the last film, and this changes nothing. I’m not going to suddenly start liking you. This film wouldn’t be that ridiculous!

They visit a fish casino where a fish singer entertains a fish mobster. AQUAMOMOA waterboards him with air to find out where YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II is.

PATRICK WILSON You know, you’d be a better king if you learned to build bridges. That’s a metaphor. Well, not really.

INT: VOLCANO LAIR They sneak into YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II’s evil volcano lair and are immediately discovered. PATRICK WILSON fights a giant robot squid.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II I am mega-powerful thanks to my MacGuffin-Juice-powered suit! And my magic trident! And my monster possession!

He lasers PATRICK WILSON for touching his trident. KING DOLPH LUNDGREN arrives and destroys everything. YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II escapes.

PATRICK WILSON Guys, the trident gave me a vision. It was created by PILOU ASBÆK, but now he’s a monster trapped inside it and he needs royal blood to be free.

AQUAMOMOA Well, we’re all fine and safe, so everything is – oh wait, I nearly forgot I have a son now!

INT: AQUAMOMOA’S HOUSE Despite his giant tech-suit and glowing red eyes, YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II manages to kidnap AQUAMOMOA JR. AQUAMOMOA then attacks with a sea-creature army.

YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II I have the full power of PILOU! Nothing can stop me!

He throws the trident, but PATRICK WILSON catches it and PILOU ASBÆK immediately transfers his possession to him instead. He fights AQUAMOMOA.

AQUAMOMOA Even though you tried to kill me in the last film, I’ve grown quite fond of you in this one. Let’s be brothers. I love you.

PATRICK WILSON Aww, OK.

PATRICK WILSON gets over his possession. They defeat PILOU ASBÆK, YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II dies and everything else is wrapped up neatly.

AQUAMOMOA Because of our new family bond, I won’t send you back to prison, Patrick. Instead we’ll pretend you died in the fight. See how nice I am?

EXT: UNITED NATIONS CONFERENCE AQUAMOMOA announces to the world that Atlantis exists and then whoops loudly. Meanwhile, PATRICK WILSON begrudgingly enjoys a cheeseburger.

FIN

THE AUDIENCE So that’s the last ever scene of the DCEU? That’s… apt. In a way, we have all just begrudgingly enjoyed a cheeseburger.

NEXT ISSUE: THE BEEKEEPER