YOGA IN MOVIES

Niftiest namastes…

1 THE KILLER

Elite assassin for mysterious high-wealth individuals, Michael Fassbender waits for days between kills. How to keep hitman-fit? Sun salutations on the thinnest yoga mat with no warm-up – that’s how he keeps Fassbendy.

2 THE BEAST

In Henry James’ near-future sci-fi world, Léa Seydoux seeks lover Louis (George MacKay) across different time periods and finds him doing impressive flow yoga in an empty room with perfect lighting because that’s what lies ahead.

3 YOGA HOSERS

Giving yoga the stink eye, Kevin Smith’s comedy/horror has blundering guru Yogi Bayer – a joke on a brand of American aspirin – teaching unique postures such as ‘pretentious frog’ and ‘dissatisfied customer’. Not real but they should be.

4 EAT PRAY LOVE

In this life-balance comedy, Julia Roberts meditates in half lotus while her hand posture – gyana mudra symbolising oneness of universal and individual consciousness – goes seriously awry. Call her Desperately Seated Chakra.

5 HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE

Harrison Ford is an LAPD homicide detective mismatched with Josh Hartnett, who also happens to be the worst yoga teacher ever. He doesn’t hold a pose and has no closing asanas. Reality returns as Ford interrupts class waving a large manilla envelope.

6 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Scarlett Johansson plays a credible yoga teacher – finishing with a proper namaste – whose married student (Bradley Cooper) falls for her in this episodic romcom. Hint: don’t be that guy applauding after class.

7 WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS

Successful talk-show host Martin Lawrence heads home to visit family in the Deep South. To relax, he does simple poses like the wind-expelling ‘happy baby’. Finally a comedy that reveals yoga’s farty truth.

8 ZOOTOPIA

This quirky family comedy involves clothed animal detectives seeking a suspect at the naturist Mystic Spring Oasis. The naked elephant doing upavistha konasana cannot help them, but the om-chanting water buffalo can.

9 COUPLES RETREAT

To mend their relationships, four couples attend Eden, a therapy resort. None were ready to get amorous yoga instructor Salvadore’s speedo-wearing butt in their face, even if it is ‘a great way to stretch’.

10 GROWN UPS 2

Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph and Maria Bello hit the mats. Creepy janitor Jon Lovitz, dragging wheelie bucket and mop, tricks them into doing exotic dancer ‘warm-ups’. Yes, it’s an Adam Sandler film.